Nothing Is Impossible
by navycorpsman
Summary: For the past 10 years, Ray's had a secret. Will the young man admitted in the ER for an accident reveal what Ray's been hiding?
1. Does It Have To Start This Way?

Ray Barnett smacked his snooze alarm. He groaned as he made his way out from under the warm covers. _Of all the days to be to work._ He complained in his head as he made his way to the bathroom for a shower. "Come on, Neela! You don't need that much goddamned make up do you?" He pounded the door.

Neela popped her head out of the door. "I'm getting ready for a shower, Ray."

"Can I join you?" Ray spoke before he could think. He saw the look on Neela's face. "I'm just kidding. I'll start the coffee and save some hot water for me this time, will you Neela?"

"I always do!" She sang.

"No you don't!" Ray sang back. He plopped down on the couch in the living room and turned on the news. He snapped to attention when he heard that the blizzard would continue through the evening until at least noon the next day. "Great. We'll be getting _all_ of Chicago's finest homeless." He mumbled to himself. He hated having to deal with the homeless in County. They made up illnesses, taking up valuable beds for those who really needed them. "Hurry up, Neela! It's a doozy of a day and I need to take my shower!" He yelled down the hall.

The bathroom door opened. "The shower is all yours now, your majesty." Neela smarted.

Ray watched her as she went into her room, wrapped only in a towel. _Why does she have this effect on me? Is it because she's a woman and women are my weakness?_ He started his shower. As he was rinsing his hair, the water ran cold. "Of course!" He yelled. "Neela! We're going to have to work this shower situation out!" He yelled as he rinsed his hair, shivering.

Neela came out as Ray stepped into the hall. "Do me a favor, Ray."

"What?"

"Lift weights if you're going to walk around here without a shirt on." She laughed.

"Get implants if you're going to do the same." Ray smarted back.

Neela turned around. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." He snorted as he closed his door to get ready for work. A pair of jeans was strewn across the foot of his bed and he slid them on. He was thankful for a job that allowed him the luxury of wearing jeans and t-shirts to work. He knew he should apologize to Neela, but his cursed pride insisted that she also apologize to him too. After all, hadn't she insulted him first? He found his jacket and before too long, he was heading out the door, Neela close on his heels. _Damn Kerry for the same shift as her. As if I don't get enough of Neela's shit at home._

"Look who's finally made it!" Abby teased as Neela and Ray ran through the door.

"Sorry we're late. Ray overslept again." Neela put her lab coat on.

Ray huffed. "Why should my oversleeping affect you? If I'm not mistaken, when I got up, you were just getting into the shower." He couldn't really explain his attitude today. Maybe it was the fact that this blizzard had been getting stronger and he couldn't recall the last time he saw the sun. Between the blizzard and work, Ray began to wonder about the existence of the sun.


	2. An Attitude Worsened

As the weather outside worsened, so did Ray's attitude. He tried his best to not let it show, but he knew it had to. He looked at the young lady with the sprained ankle and tried to pretend he wasn't annoyed. _Why is everyone annoying me today? _He thought _It's not like anyone has actually done something to piss me off._ He sat on the stool next to the table. "How'd this happen?"

The young lady smiled at Ray. "It happened during warm ups in September."

"And you've waited this long to come and see the doctor?" Ray didn't know how he should really respond.

"Yeah." The girl's smile faded. "I know I should have come sooner, but my team needed me and I'm the most skilled gymnast on the team. I couldn't let them down." She looked at him. "We go to State next week."

_Yippee._ Ray silently thought. "Well, from the looks of your ankle, you'll miss State."

"Are you serious?" The girl was close to tears. "I can't miss State. I just can't."

Ray wanted to feel sorry for her, but he sighed heavily. "If you do State, you could risk even more injury than you have now."

The girl looked at him. "Like what?"

"You have a slight sprain, which would require a wrap and crutches for 2 weeks. You go to State, and you're looking at a severe sprain, which would require 6 weeks. You have a weak ankle and that could lead to a fracture or even a complete break." Ray looked at her. "What good are you to your team if you can't walk?"

The young lady sighed. "You're going to wrap my ankle, right?"

Ray pursed his lips. There was something about the way she said it that didn't make him feel comfortable. "I could get a nurse to…"

"Oh, no. Please. I don't visit the doctor often, but if all doctors are as cute as you, I'll visit more." She smiled.

Ray stood and sighed. _Why is it only 14-year-old girls are attracted to me? Why can't I have someone like Sam or Abby, or even Neela look at me?_ "I'll be back in a few minutes." He went to the front desk. "Abby, could you take care of Exam 2? She just needs her ankle wrapped."

"Why don't you do it?" Abby looked back at him.

"I have this odd way of only attracting 14-year-old girls." He handed Abby the chart. "I don't deal well with little girl crushes anymore."


	3. Unbelievable

The young lady sighed when Abby walked in. "What happened to Dr. Barnett? I thought he was going to wrap my ankle."

Abby sat down. "He had another patient he needed to check on." She lied.

"He is _GORGEOUS!_" the young gymnast sighed. "How do you manage to work with someone that is that hot?"

Abby laughed. "Oh, it's not too hard." She patted the young girl's thigh. "All done. Just need to write you a quick prescription and you'll be out of here." Abby left and found Ray in the lounge. "You owe me big time, Barnett."

"Why?" Ray's attention never strayed from the continuing snowfall.

"I told your fan in Exam 2 that you had another patient to see. What's going on with you today?"

"The weather's just getting to me." Ray turned around and faced her. "Abby, I am trying not to show how annoyed I am."

"What's annoying you?"

"Everything. Work. Neela. The blizzard. You."

"Me?" Abby nearly dropped her coffee.

"Yeah. But don't ask what you did because I don't know." Ray placed his head in his hands. "I don't know…Things are just…" He snapped to attention when he heard the paramedics rush in. "I got it!" He ran out. "What's this?"

Sally Jefferson looked at him. "16 year old male in an MVA. BP is 110 over 40 and he's complaining he can't feel his legs."

Luka Kovac ran to Ray's side and began to control the situation. "What's your name?"

"Braydon Shaver." The young man replied. "Please. I can't feel my legs." He was close to tears.

Ray looked down at him. "Don't worry. You'll be fine." As Sam gave the young victim some pain medication, Ray studied Luka.

"Let's get some x-rays!" Luka ordered. A few minutes later, Luka was studying the x-rays. "What do you think, Ray?" Ray didn't say anything. "Ray?"

"Sorry, Luka."

"What do you think?"

"Of what?"

Luka sighed. "The X-RAYS!" His patience was wearing thin.

Ray looked at the x-rays. "Uh, yes. He's definitely broken his spine in 4 places."

"In other words, he'll never walk again." Luka ignored the look Ray gave him. "Let's go and break the news."

Ray followed Luka. "Are you sure he'll never walk again?"

Luka sighed. "Yes, Ray. He's going to be a paraplegic for the rest of his life." He opened the doors to Exam 4. "Well, Braydon, we've got your x-rays back and the news isn't good."

"What's wrong?" The young man started to panic. "Will I walk again?"

Luka looked at the scared young man. "I'm afraid not."

"You sure?" Braydon looked to Ray.

"It's highly unlikely. It's a one in a million shot." Luka put on his best bedside manner.

"But I could walk again, couldn't I?"

"No." Luka reiterated. "You'll nev…"

"What makes you so sure, Dr. Kovac?" Ray suddenly spoke.

"You saw the x-rays." Luka glared hard at Ray and then looked at Braydon again. "I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do."

Ray simply glared at Luka and left, huffily throwing his lab coat on the floor.


	4. A Near Revelation

Sam followed Ray outside. "What's wrong, Ray?"

"Is everyone going to be concerned about me?" Ray pulled his jacket tighter around his neck. "I'm just tired of the snow. **That's it!**" He emphasized.

"Sorry. You just seem edgier than normal." Sam held her hands up in retreat.

Luka stormed out and found Ray. "Go home, Ray. Until you work out your attitude, don't bother reporting back."

"You don't even want to know, do you?" Ray shouted.

Luka looked back at him. "No, Ray. I don't. You've been a real asshole today and it's time you went home and fixed your attitude."

"Fine!" Ray couldn't figure out what had started his mood, but he knew what was going on now. A young 16 year old boy with a broken spine. It affected him and he knew all too well why.

Neela came home and found Ray standing over the kitchen counter. His head was lowered and his shoulders curved. His hands seemed to grip the counter as though it was his only support. She had known all day that he was bothered by something, but Ray would never say. _He may be open about some things, but there's a lot more he'll hold to himself._ She walked quietly up behind him when she saw it. _With all the times he doesn't wear a shirt here, how could I have never noticed it before?_ She traced the scar on Ray's lower back, causing him to jump. "Sorry. I was just…"

"It's nothing. I fell off a bike." Ray snorted.

"A five inch scar? From a bike fall?" Neela didn't believe his story.

"It was a Ducati, if you must know." Ray sat on the couch.

"It's minus 15 outside, Ray. Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" Neela sat next to him. Despite the mutual civility they had to each other, she found herself extremely concerned for him at this point.

"I'm hot."

"Ray." Neela knew she shouldn't push, but she couldn't help herself. Her roommate was suffering from something and she wanted to find out what it was. "Are you depressed or something?'

"Or something." Ray walked to his room.

Neela followed him. "I'm serious, Ray."

"So am I, Neela." He shut his door, but she flung it open. "What?"

"Talk to me, Ray." Her hair fell over her shoulder and there was something about her. He felt it. He had to be a part of her. "What?" Neela noticed his stare.

Ray shook his head. "Nothing. Look, Neela, I know you're here if I ever feel like talking, but this is something I just can't."

She had never seen him so vulnerable. She walked over to him and gave him a hug. "I know." She looked up at him and despite how safe she felt in his arms, Neela pulled away. "Ray, I ju…" she felt it rise in her. She knew what that look was. He wanted to be one with her and she felt the same, but she was dating Gallant and it wouldn't be right. _After all, I love Michael, right?_ She reasoned with herself. _Who, other than Ray and me would know? Would Ray say…no, of course not. Ray's not the sort of man to br…wait. Yes, he is the sort to brag of his conquests._ The war raged in her head. During this time, Ray softly stroked her hair. Neela looked up at him and drew herself to him. Their lips met and suddenly, Ray forgot what was bothering him.

Without warning, Ray pulled away. "This isn't right, Neela." He couldn't believe he was saying that. He wanted her since he first saw her and now that he had a chance to have her, he refused.

"Why? Am I too old?" It was meant to be sarcastic, but Neela saw the hurt in Ray's eyes. "I didn't mean it like that, Ray. I'm sorry."

"Just go, Neela. Please. Before I change my mind." Ray's voice was softer than Neela ever heard it before.

She left and sat on the edge of her bed. "What's wrong with him?" She wondered. She gasped and put her hand over her mouth. "What's wrong with _me_?"

Ray made his way into the locker room the next evening. Luka looked at him. "I thought I told you to not come back…"

"One in a million?" Ray put his lab coat on.

"What?" Luka looked at him perplexed.

"You told that kid yesterday it was a one in a million shot he'd walk again."

"Yes because it's…"

"What if it's his shot, Luka?" Ray asked.

"What?"

"What if it was his shot?" Ray sat on the lounge couch. "You don't know that it's not, Luka."

Luka looked at him. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

Ray stood up. "Forget it then." He walked out and checked the board for patients.


	5. The Revelation Of Ray

Luka came out and looked at Ray. "Forget what?"

"What room is that kid from yesterday in?" Ray asked.

"Not sure." Luka replied. "Why?"

"No reason. He just needs some reassurance, that's all, Dr. Kovac." Ray called admin to find out the room. "Yes, he came in the ER yesterday…Braydon Shaver. Yes….Oh, I'm one of the doctors that worked on him and would like to see…Thanks." Ray hung up the phone. "I'll be back in a few." He made his way upstairs. He knocked on the door of the young man's room. "How you doin' buddy?" Ray's voice was full of unspoken concern.

"I've had better days for sure." Braydon laughed. "Yesterday, you seemed to be mad about what the other doctor said. Do you think I've a chance to ever walk again?"

"I can't say, but I would say that's you either will or you won't. That choice is yours." Ray sat down.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just that…"

"Dr. Barnett, you're needed in the ER." Ray recognized Luka's voice.

Ray sighed heavily. "Fine." He stood up and looked at the young patient. "Don't ever give up. No matter what anyone tells you."

Luka followed Ray out. Keeping his voice low, he yelled "I don't want you giving any patients false hope, Ray. No matter how much surgery he has or physical therapy he has, it's still a one in a million chance he'll ever walk again."

Ray stopped and faced Luka. "One in a million? What if it is his chance?"

Luka sighed. "I know. You brought this up in the locker room and…"

Ray continued as though he hadn't heard Luka. "What if he had this childhood dream of being a doctor and one night a drunk driver nearly took that away from him? What if he had a family, friends, and a doctor who didn't believe in him enough to ever see him accomplish anything, much less walk after having his spine broken in 4 places? What if he demanded the surgery, lying, cheating, doing whatever he had to do to have the surgery that could give him hope? What if he got so angry, not just at the driver who nearly killed him, but his friends, doctor and family, that he said FUCK YOU to all of them and was determined to walk again? What if he went to med school and refused to let anyone see the pain he was in? What if there were days he'd lie on his bed in the fetal position because the pain was too much almost wishing he were dead and the realizing that's what everyone wanted and he was determined to prove them all wrong. What if that young man has the will and the determination to defy the odds." Ray stopped, seeing Luka's disbelief. "You don't know everything, Doctor. You don't know the will of that young man."

"Judging by his injuries, I would dare to say…" Luka started.

"What would have happened if Carter told me the same thing you're telling that young man right now?"

"Carter? Dr. John Carter of County? Our Carter?" Luka was shocked.

Ray nodded. "Dr. Benton told me I'd never walk again. Carter…well, Carter told me exactly what I told that young man. No one, but me and Carter, ever believed I'd walk again. Yet, here I stand…STAND…before you, walking, running, doing everything I could do before the accident. Yet, you tell that young man…"

"Four places, Ray." Luka was forceful.

"The same four places my spine was broken, Luka. Don't ever underestimate the power of the human spirit, Doctor. I hope he'll prove you wrong." Ray walked down to the ER, his back slightly hurting.

Neela looked at him. "You okay?"

"I'm just a little upset, that's all." Ray felt tears form.

"That's something new?" Morris laughed.

Ray fought slamming Morris against the counter. "You wouldn't know the half of it!"

Luka looked at Ray. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

Ray sighed. "For the past 10 years, people were always careful with me, treating me like I was some sort of fragile toy. I didn't want to be treated any different. Until today, you didn't know and you treated me like it never happened and that's exactly how I want it." He picked up a chart. "If you'll excuse me, I have patients to see."

Morris and Neela looked at each other and Luka explained what Ray had told him. A yelp of pain echoed through the ER and they ran in and saw Ray flat on his back on the floor. Luka helped him up. "Are you okay? Is your back…"

"My back's fine. My wrist on the other hand…"


End file.
